


They Were Happy Once

by GreenishRainbow



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Feels, I'm Sorry, M/M, My First Fanfic, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 04:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5482934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenishRainbow/pseuds/GreenishRainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>”That’s right, that’s not my home anymore, memory really does fade with old age huh?” James thought as he took a sip of his cheap beer, continuing to stare down at that little golden band that rested atop that well polished counter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Were Happy Once

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wordprism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordprism/gifts).



> Sorry if it's complete crap, it's my first time ever writing fanfic so it's not fantastic. If you wanna get more feels outta it I suggest you listen to the song I've mixed into this story first or while you read it. 
> 
> Laura Shigihara's "Everything's Alright" 
> 
> Or hey if you wanna follow and chat with a friendly person my tumblr is @/NotGreenishRainbow

Somehow without any words  
I just stood there  
Searching for an answer

How did it all come to this? Logan thought as he stared down at the polished bar counter,  
looking over at his wounded hip that he’d bandaged himself. But, of course, blood was already beginning to soak through seeing as he had no medical experience and he’d only half-assed it. He’d usually try to be more cautious and have it properly looked at and wrapped by someone who actually knew what the hell they were doing seeing as he wasn’t as invincible as he used to be. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it, he couldn’t go back home and-...”That’s right, that’s not my home anymore, memory really does fade with old age huh?” James thought as he took a sip of his cheap beer, continuing to stare down at that little golden band that rested atop that well polished counter. Beside it there was a photo of a happy family celebrating their new child. That’s his child, his family. Or, at least, was. No, now it’s all gone, his world had all but shattered around him how many months ago? Well it doesn't matter what time has to say about it because to James, it felt like years. He lightly touched his finger against the picture as if it would turn to dust and crumble away if he wasn’t anything but delicate, and felt his eyes tear up. God he was finally starting to feel the buzz from the alcohol. Not like any of that mattered anyways, he’d still go to that empty disgusting motel room he was calling home sweet home these days, fall asleep on the bed that was probably completely made up of broken springs and then wake up the next morning with a kink in his back and get back to drinking, maybe throw all his anger at some bad guys like he’d done earlier. If the blood loss from the wound doesn’t kill him then he’s definitely gonna have another scar. /Not like i’ll be scolded for being careless like before./ That’s right, there’s nobody telling him what to do anymore so why isn’t he parading the streets for his next rebound bed warmer instead of sitting here hating himself? He used to be a different one night stand every night kinda guy until he started devoting himself to a single person. But if he was being completely honest with himself...Those were the best two years of his entire life, and that's saying something considering his lifespan. /Does he even miss me? Has he moved on? Why haven’t /I/ moved on?/ “Dammit!” He shouted at himself and slammed his fist down on the counter, running his hand through his already messy hair and taking a drink from his bottle, well aware of the eyes of the other patrons but not caring in the slightest. It’s all his fault. He knew it, his friends knew it, Scott knew it too. They’d fought so many damn times and there was always harsh words and tears and the two of them stating they knew “what was best.” There was always forgiveness after the fact...But not anymore. This time there was no harsh words, no forgiveness. It was just two individuals who’d given up, completely and utterly. 

When this world is no more  
The moon is all we'll see  
I'll ask you to fly away with me

Logan tainted the best thing he’d ever had in his life, after everything Scott had done for him, after everything they went through together...It was all gone because he couldn’t just...Keep his crap together and stop overthinking every little detail and stop with his goddamn nightmares almost every single fucking night even after everything Scott had done to help him get over everything…-Logan clenched his bottle harder as he felt a variety of emotions, anger, fear, self loathing, sadness, disgust. All pointed at himself. All he wanted was someone to keep the demons of his past at bay with their love and affection that he hardly ever truly received from anyone. Scott was full of love and tenderness no matter what anyone said, and there isn’t, and never will be, anyone like him. “That’s why it hurt so much when you said goodbye..” Logan wiped away angrily at the stray tears. /That’s why it hurt so goddamn much when you told me to move on to someone else even after...even after I promised myself to you…/ James just knew he probably looked like an idiot the way he was sitting there crying over someone that will never come back into his life again, but he’s never been one to care about what others think about him. He knows he’s drunk and needs to leave but the thought of that dark, cold apartment...It’s not something he wants to go back to. /Did you feel the same way I felt when you told me to move on? I’ve said it to you a hundred times and I might as well have told you I didn’t love you at all a hundred times...But I swear there is nobody out there for me, no matter how far I look or how much time has gone past… Not the Elf no matter what you thought there was between us...Nobody.../

Why do my words  
Always lose their meaning?  
What I feel, what I say  
There's such a rift between them

He was sitting there sobbing like an idiot now, the Mighty Wolverine reduced to a whining asshole. This is exactly why he’s in this situation. This is why Scott had completely abandoned him. He’s weak, unstable, aggressive, unforgiving, jealous and yeah he needed to go home before he did something really stupid like try to actually contact Scott… Those times when he did reach a breaking point and wanted to check up on the other man were painful, Logan wasn't sure of what he could and couldn’t say without sounding dumb and having Scott worry about him so he’d always just end up looking like an asshole and apologize for everything. James stood and tried to collect himself, gathering his precious mementos of the past he thought would be his future and tucking them away before taking a deep breath, slapping some bills on the counter and staggering out the bar. He was feeling such an urge to contact his ex-husband, even though he was almost certain the other man had already moved on and was probably living it up with someone new he still had the slightest sliver of unnecessary doubt that Scott was blaming himself for Logan's mistake or even for involving himself with the feral in the first place. As Logan walked across the street in his drunken stupor he glanced at his phone before slowing his pace to type a text message. He saw a flash of the white light before he felt the impact of the car and then everything went dark.

A few days passed before they could get into contact with any family or relatives. When they did, the funeral was held three days later. Only then did Scott see the message that he never received. When he did, there was a slight crack in his ever so stoic facade before he handed Emma the baby and excused himself. 

“I know I’m probably the last person you’d ever want contacting you anymore but I just wanted to make things clear. I still love you with all my heart and I’m sorry I was never good enough for you. I’m sorry you put so much time and effort into a lost cause. I want you to know you were-/Are/ my everything and I hope you find someone who can satisfy you in ways I couldn’t. I’m sorry but I’ll never apologize for kissing you that night, and I swear it was never out of pity. I’m sorry for ever bothering you beautiful.”

Until the stars all fall down  
They empty from the sky  
But I don't mind  
If you're with me, then everything's alright  
If you're with me, then everything's alright


End file.
